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Caught up in Ya Ex?? [Let your Present get you PAST it!!!]

Is it cool to still have pictures of your ex in your phone ( face pics, nasty pics, etc) when you’re in a new relationship????

#Realbdotcom says: What for? Memories aren’t enough? Especially from the person who is now in the rearview saying hello to the past. smh…if you let go of the past, you can embrace your future! Don’t hold on to what was, losing sight of what could be. I mean afterall, if it’s over then hasn’t it run it’s course?

 

 

Of course my #SEXINTHECITYSANANTONIO ladies gave their opinions as well…

#1: “d*mn, i just deleted some outta mines…but, NO it not cool to have pics of any exes.”

#2:”That is a definite NO NO. there’s something wrong there if they’re still there while in a new relationship.”

#3:” No only a dumb ass leaves them in the phone always back them up on the computer or flash drive lol.”

a males response:

“do you think its cool to talk to yo ex n*gga? fuck outta here with the bullsh*t.”

All the more reason for my original statement…In a new relationship, let the past be the past and start your new beginning.

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A REAL B MOMENT: LOVIN THE CREW? 80/20 Rule?Who Cares?? JUST CHOOSE!

I posted a little tidbit on the Trey Songz, Lauren London beef that arose on social networks today. I chose “lovin the crew” not only because it’s the last Drake song a friend played in her car as we proceeded to work, but it symbolizes how a guy/ girl WILL utilize the skill of “Having their cake” and “Eating it too” if you don’t smush the shit in their face.

 

I had a friend, who took the time out of her day to work on a relationship restore after a hard days work with her “man”. She’s the 80 of course! However, there are  20’s floating around…She shouldn’t be working towards restoring something that she never wrecked. Not only is her effort more than what’s given…but I guess the words “LOVE” and “your so understanding” and “I appreciate you” are the pacifiers for #doormatting.

My key rule to all of my friends is, your business  ain’t my business and my business ain’t yo business…but when it comes down to listening, I had to give my opinion and feedback on what’s real…If you are a man or a woman holding on to past 20’s while you have an “alleged” exclusive relationship with an 80..SLAP YA SELF! Even if it’s vice versa…Really? You have to have more than one person? Big Ego Pimpin!!!!

In my opinion (for my friend), it’s nasty…if you wanna live like a KING produce the LIFE to a QUEEN so she won’t be worried about the other “issues”. That’s what men who had many wives did, took care of home…Today’s day in age it’s like you’re settling for bare minimum just to say your with someone. The idiot below(Kobe Bryant)…I cannot take away from his career, but I can say he’s a “loving the crew” get caught type. Everytime he gets caught cheating however, he realizes it’s cheaper to keep her. O_o

And for those “havers AND eaters” at the same damn time, Don’t you get tired of getting “love from the crew”… Some guy was telling me all men love hoes, they love women, but they love hoes too….Sad thing is a REAL WOMAN will be EVERYTHING a man needs and more (if he acts right)…so what’s the next excuse?….Stay lovin the crew if thas how u live, but damn move around from the real pollute fake hoes with that dumb shit!

 

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He/She Smashed the Homies…

Urban dictionary “correct definition” is:
When a person in a relationship (open or exclusive) finds out their partner has slept (had sex) with their friend/associate, prior to the relationship’s existence.

You meet someone, y’all vibe, connect and expand on another level, just to find out somebody had a piece of the pie you want to fully consume?! It happens so much, and I did remember briefly “For the Love of Ray J”, the beginning of this “Smash the Homie” pandemonium. He had two instances where two women slept with one of his close friends. .Reality is, there is too much time in the world to build towards getting over who your lover smashed. Why be worried about what happened before you “clocked” your time in with your boo. That’s all it is…a PRIOR technicality, or “foul” in the game of life.It doesn’t mean it’s completely over, it is a small hiccup that requirea you be a grown individual. “IT” happens, get over yourself. If you’re not the Virgin Mary herself, you’re bound to sleep with someone or be with someone through an extension of someone you know, knew or heard of! Real T.

I’m not saying to partake in a big orgy fest and expect it and accept it, but it’s probably common that it’s occurred at least once in a lifetime. Getting to know people and dating are not on my tasks of easy to do’s, but it can be done if there is, men probably handle this better than women. Majority  of women  tend not to judge you on your past. We trust in our ability to enhance a man through a relationship, or “Upgrade U”. That basically means you don’t need anybody or anything further (she accepted your “smash the homie” and is holding you down, what more do you need?). Most men  more than likely will test women until they get to a point where they can trust her, especially if she was the homie smasher.

I don’t believe that who you slept with before who you fell in love with will determine if your relationship will last.You have no control over who you meet and sleep with, and if anybody is at fault, it would be coincidence. I don’t like the idea of conforming to society for their idea of happiness.  Live your life… and if you can’t, check out my previous post  it gives you insight on how to worry about you.

“GET YO LIFE BOO, GET YO LIFE” https://realbdotcom.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/get-yo-life-boo-get-yo-life/

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Communication is Key, Love is the Door (Open up)

“Had we made the official marriage commitment, we wouldn’t still be together. The reason the relationship works is that we get to define it on our terms. It would be very different if we were in a ‘traditional’ relationship where I was expected to be a wife and every now and then cook a meal!”-Oprah Winfrey on Stedman

Sometimes I get confused by the newfound era “open” relationships that are spiraling as time continues. The traditional word relationship has no value in today’s society. “My Girl Gotta
Girlfriend” and “Boyfriend #2” are examples of just how meaningless a title is.

I have been in pretty much every position that a woman can play at this point in my life with a man (with the exception of a ring wearing wife.) I can agree that the need for the title is on a decline. I personally feel as if titles are to show off…I’m not an entertainer! Personal life should stay personal. As long as you and your companion have a thorough understanding of what is going on between the two, then that’s all that matters.

First impressions are lasting impressions. If I meet a guy, and I tell him that I’m not interested in pursuing anything relationship wise, but end up having a casual relationship, how can I get upset when he thinks that we are just that? Ms. Cleo, is fake, no psychic mind reading. #Communication is key. Fact of the matter is, a relationship, whether it is a marriage, casual friendship, open relationship, or just the beginner phase of “talking”… it all needs
COMMUNICATION! This will be a deciding factor of what’s next. Will you
ever truly know someone? I’ve always believed that people will show
you the “representative” of who they want you to see.


 I heard this somewhere which I thought was interesting. You can love and be loved, but you have to accept that some people are just made for moments and not lifetimes. Maybe you didn’t know “How to Love”, or maybe you didn’t know that you could be of inspiration in someone
else’s life for example.  Maybe the relationship you’re pushing for isn’t equal to the person you are matching that title or expectation up to.(Which brings me back to COMMUNICATION…it’s the key to making sure you don’t look like an idiot assuming)

 

My favorite now, day in age celebrity couple who now publicly acknowledge their relationship (which is still private and completely at their discretion what they choose to have the media view…&& I LOVE IT!!! #BOSS) states that  “We decide everything,” she told the magazine. “My word is my word. What Jay and I have is real. It’s not about interviews or getting the right photo op. It’s real.”

Sometimes titles do create a bit of a possession or territorial field. You’re now required to check in, call, text, NOT have your cake and eat it too…etc. Things some people have an issue giving up. But if you do, you’re fully relying on the faith of Love, which means you trust someone not to hurt you. It’s a give/give up situation. You “give” up single life habits for love and “give up” the thought of hurt for the love of trust.

 

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GET YO LIFE BOO, GET YO LIFE!

I looooooooooooooove me some Tamar Braxton, and I’m sorry if her quirky candid moments on #BFV enlighten this blog tonight as I wrap up here at my desk to give you REALB spit.

“GET YO LIFE”–means something to me. I feel like other than it being
a reality show quotable. It truly means, stop letting everyone else
determine what will work for you. Nobody else knows what you are
designed, capable and destined to do (except you and the good Lord
himself). People will tell you anything to get you where they want you to be. Before you get engaged with the interaction of friends, lovers, family etc…think about getting your life, and doing you.

How many times have you sacrificed for the greater good of others, before getting your life together? How far has it gotten you? If you even had an answer for number 1, I can assure I can answer number 2 off of experience. This is the part of life where however old you are and however successful you feel or dont feel, where “GET YO LIFE” together should take full force effect.

We can’t keep blaming life for our faults. If you are blessed to have
a job, a residence, and transportation, remind me again why you are complaining? (and you don’t have to have all at one time or even in that order!)

If you lack something, I know this is cliche’ but be thankful
nonetheless for what you have. Someone out there somewhere is less fortunate.

So whatever you do have make it “twerk” and build it up to what it is
you desire and long for. I don’t know about any of you, but the reason why I developed such a work ethic and motivation for the finer things in my life is simple…NOTHING in life is free, not even AIR AND WATER!!!!

I was raised in #Texas furthermore,so my hustle is a little more than
average, growing up listening to  my mayne Lil Flip, “I CAN DO DAT”!!!! “If you see it,
want it, buy it, own it”.

How hard is that to apply to everyday life?

I have people constantly in my ear buzzing about what to do, what not
to do and how to live, Music is my therapy, so my dad’s old Bobby Brown song “My Perogative” is my mantra in this blog..I do what I want got damnit…It may not
be what’s perceived for someone else as right…but it works for my
life.

The easiest sound advice I have about getting your life…is keeping
people out your business…”if it takes 6 months to
mind your business and 6 months to stay out of everybody else’s you have no time to be worryin bout other folks life” (says my ma).

PS…This one’s for you if you are the nosy counterpart trying to
change people mind’s, decisions and directions…

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GET YO LIFE BOO! GET YO LIFE!

Live your Life with No Regrets

Sitting at my desk, i’m thinking about relationships. (I suppose the quote I shared yesterday that happens to be glaring at me as we speak would be the reason as to why)

It reads as follows:

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we are afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make”

The word “regret” is defined as the emotion sensed for feeling sorry or sad about a person, place or thing (after an event took place)

It can can appear to be hurtful by others as well….

“Chances not taken”, I can understand how regret ties to this somehow. If you do try and fail, you don’t feel good about the outcome. If you don’t try, you feel inadequate because your mind allowed the “shouldda,couldda, wouldda, but didn’t scenario to take over your brain .

“Relationships we are afraid to have”, if you don’t try, try again, and after that, keep trying til you win, you will always be a sore love loser. Love hurts….bottom line. Not intentionally and not all the time. When you have two people trying to become one soul intertwined, someone is the distributor and one will receive the aftermath of. That’s why it pays to “Be Full”, remember happy people stay full. If you’re happy, your relationships are good.

1Corinthians  talks about the beautiful side of love….

If you take life quizzes and “charge it to the pain”, when the true test of love comes you’ll pass with flying colors. Love takes strength and only the strong survive 😉

“Decisions that took too long to take”, kinda like musical chairs…If you don’t make moves or attempt to, someone is going to have the heart to beat you to the punch of trying. You can’t be afraid to try. If you fail, be persistent enough to restructure ur plan, rebuild your foundation and get back up again….

Be Full…

“A full life…”

That was a post by Evelyn Lozada a few weeks ago. I’m glaring at a picture that contains a zesty turquoise background with a cup of what I conveyed as being life, poured full.

Your life consists of everything around you…Grab a deck, shuffle, and distribute. That’s the game of life and everybody gets dealt hands (some better hands than others).

Nonetheless we are dealt something…and it may not be the

greatest hand, but with every breath of life you breathe is a chance to change whatever it is that’s not keeping your life as full as it can be at all times. Happy people stay full!

Hell, fake it ’til u make it if you have to (people kill to see misery). I mean if trouble doesn’t last always anyways, then certainly smile ’til Joy comes in the morning!

@EvelynLozada

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